Present Moment


Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.   -Buddah

Life as a stay-at-home momma is mundane, stagnant, unchanging.  Yet it seems like when you look back, nothing is the same.  Day to day, the routine is almost suffocating in its monotony but the rewards are priceless.  The kicks in my belly from the life I have growing inside me, the kisses from a sleepy toddler…  You may lose the self you once had before children, before “domesticating,” yet what you gain is so much more.
That quote from Buddah reminds me of a good one from Kung Fu Panda:
"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the 'present'" 

So I vow to live in the moment.  To take each day as it is given to me and to try and make the best of it, regardless of my situation.  

Resolutions

It seems that every year I'll think of a few things that I would like to change about myself, about my life.  I'll ponder it for a few days, and then procrastination sets in and nothing changes.  It's caused me to become stagnant, never-changing.  This year I decided I will make actual resolutions, and deadlines.

First of all,  I vow to procrastinate less.  This has been my downfall, for why do now what you can put off until later?  This is why I haven't started school, why my son still sleeps with me, why my house never seems to be completely clean...  Procrastination is why I am not who or where I want to be in life.
So here's what procrastinating less will bring me to doing:

  • I WILL start school.  As a matter of fact, I go tomorrow to register for my classes.  I want to make something of myself, and not be just a homemaker.  I love staying at home with my son, but at the end of the day, I am not happy.  I want to become a substance abuse counselor, and help people.  The first step to that is continuing my education.
  • I WILL be a better mother.  Not to say that I am a bad mom, but there are definitely areas that I want to improve on.  
  • I WILL worry more about myself and less about making other people happy.  By learning to say "no" every once in a while, I think that I could definitely find more time for myself and get to a point where I can actually make friends and learn how to not depend on what everyone thinks of me.
  • I WILL work on having a social life.  Right now, I spend all of my time at home, with my son.  It's great, because I have severe anxiety and this is my comfort zone.  It tends to get lonely though, when my fiance decides he wants to go out and even if I had a babysitter, I don't have anything to do.  
In all, I think these resolutions are definitely do-able.  I will be a happier, well-rounded person if I follow though with these and that is exactly what I need to be.  If not just for me, for my kids as well.  They need to see their Momma be a happy person, and that's what I want to be for them!